


Kitten Comfort

by InkstainedGwyn



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, what more could you ever want, yosuke and a kitten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 15:44:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14814239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkstainedGwyn/pseuds/InkstainedGwyn
Summary: When Yosuke wakes up one morning after a routine evening in the TV, he finds out that Souji... just doesn't exist. He's the only one who remembers his partner; he's absolutely miserable, and his only comfort is a kitten he finds outside the Dojimas'.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! Maybe even for good. It's the first piece I've written in a while, so please go easy on me ;-;.
> 
> This piece took me almost a month to write, in bits and pieces, and it would not be anywhere near as good as it is now without significant polishing from my beta reader. <3
> 
> As always, you can reach me at my [tumblr](http://ohlookashinysquirrel.tumblr.com/).

Souji was missing. 

They’d all come out of the TV as normal the night before; Yosuke had been preoccupied, also as usual, with making sure that nobody was around (and dealing with Teddie), so he didn’t have a chance to really look around and take stock of his team until a few minutes after they’d all climbed out. It was no big deal, anyway; Souji always waited, usually taking the time to talk with Rise and Naoto, discuss anything they might have learned, or strategies for next time. Once they were done, he and Yosuke (and sometimes Teddie) would walk home together. It was tradition.

Only, this time, Souji wasn’t there. Fighting down an immediate wave of disappointment - _come on, Hanamura, it’s not like you guys always go home together, sometimes things come up, he’s not required to wait for you every place he goes_ \- he frowned, flipping open his phone to see if he had any messages. After all… Souji _always_ waited for him. There was no reason he wouldn’t, right? So if he left without saying anything… maybe he was hurt? Or maybe he wasn’t feeling well.

A second wave of disappointment - this one a hot, sick feeling in his stomach - came when the brunette saw no new messages. It didn’t look like he’d been active in group chat, either, so… whatever it was, he wasn’t just ignoring Yosuke, unless he was ignoring his phone in general. Trying to keep his emotions somewhat level, the brunette slipped his phone back into his pocket, looking around; it seemed that Ted had already decided to go home - probably with Kanji or Rise - and Yosuke was left to himself. Which would have been okay, if he’d been with Souji.

At least he didn’t have to explain to anyone why he was feeling so antsy, now.

Waiting until he got home, Yosuke flipped his phone back open - still no messages - and typed out a quick text to his partner.

> u left quick, u ok?

Playing the “let’s not look at our phone until we actually do something productive and maybe we’ll be rewarded” game, Yosuke busied himself with his shower, then putting his laundry away… and then, eventually - having had no luck with new messages - his homework, which showed exactly how desperate he was to distract himself. He didn’t really _get_ anywhere with his homework, but hey, it was the thought that counted, right?

Finally, looking up at the clock, he realised that it was getting a lot later than he really needed to be up, and there was probably no way that Souji would be awake by this time, and come to think of it - well, maybe that’s why he hadn’t heard anything. If Souji was feeling bad enough to leave without talking to Yosuke, and he hadn’t gotten any of Yosuke’s messages (there was no check mark, at least), then maybe he’d gone home and gone straight to bed. 

_Yeah, that must be it._ Feeling better, Yosuke brushed his teeth, flipped his phone open one last time, and debated with himself before finally sending another text.

> headin 2 bed prtnr, feel better ok

* * *

He woke the next morning feeling better, and it lasted until he reached for his phone, rubbing his eyes. The light was blinking, so he flipped it open with a brighter heart, ready to tease his partner about sleeping in, only to be greeted by two spam emails, one games advertisement from a store back in the city, and a text from Chie about some kung-fu movie playing in Okina, which he wasn’t interested in. 

There was nothing from Souji. 

What was even worse was that when he went to go call his friend, he couldn’t find the phone number! With a sick, panicky feeling, he swore - of _course_ his crappy old phone would pick _now_ , of all times, to bug out. Shutting it down, hoping that restarting it would cause whatever was bugging out to be fixed, he hurried into his weekend clothes - it was Sunday - and jacket, since it was getting chilly and looked like rain.

 _I’ll go to his place. We meet up every weekend anyway, and if he’s feeling as sick as he must be, maybe I can help Nanako make soup or something. Maybe he won’t really care if I’m there or not, but i’ll make me feel better_. 

At least he knew, in his heart of hearts, that Souji wasn’t ignoring him. His anxiety might want to suggest it, but Yosuke _trusted_ Souji. Souji was calm and quiet, and he never let his emotions get the better of him - not that the brunette thought he was mad, nothing had _happened_ in the TV the night before to make anybody upset. In fact, it had been a good run, really good, with lots of badass moment where he got to fight things with his partner, side-by-side, and-

- _ahem_ -

The point was, even if Souji had been somehow angry, he wouldn’t have let it affect his relationship, which meant that if he wasn’t talking to Yosuke, there was another reason beyond “he’s ignoring me.” This wasn’t necessarily _good_ \- it most likely meant he was sick, or something had happened - but if something was wrong, they could face it together. That was what mattered most to the brunette.

Hurrying down the street, he found his stomach twisting a bit as he turned down the side street with the Dojima house. The detective’s car was in the driveway, and the laundry was out, probably to get it dry before the rain set in; there was something off about it, but Yosuke couldn’t put his finger onto what, and he was too worried about Souji, anyway. Going to the door, he knocked; jamming his fists into his pockets, he had just enough time to hunch his shoulders and move back before he heard footsteps, and the door opening to reveal Dojima, whose gruff face shifted into a confused expression when he saw the brunette.

“Hanamura? What are you doing here? Is this something to do with the mess you and your friends have been up to, messing around in Junes? Have you guys finally gotten into something over your head?”

Yosuke blinked; sure, Dojima was always a little irritable towards him - probably because he thought of Yosuke as a troublemaker after the time that he and Souji had almost got arrested because the brunette had brought some fake weapons into Junes - but he’d never been this hostile. A sinking thought hit him. _Is he upset because something’s wrong with Souji?_

“N-no, sir, sorry, it’s just that Souji left early when we were hanging out yesterday, and I was worried he was sick, I haven’t heard from him today, so-”

“Who?” The detective cut Yosuke off - it was clear that he was waiting for something - but his response made no sense. “I don’t know who you’re talking about, Hanamura. Just because I’m a detective doesn’t mean I know every damn kid in Inaba.” 

Yosuke was so confused by this response that his brain was having trouble processing the detective’s words; as he cast about for some response - _surely this is a joke, right?_ \- Nanako came hurrying around the corner…

...and stopped, looking nervous, as she did whenever she saw a stranger, as she saw him.

“I’m ready to go to Junes, dad,” she said, quietly, her eyes darting between Yosuke and her father.

“Junes?” Although Nanako wanting to go to Junes didn’t startle Yosuke, it was still unusual to see Dojima home in the middle of the day, and the two of them going together. Especially since that was usually… “Can’t Souji take her?” 

As Dojima held his coat out for his daughter, he frowned again at Yosuke. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, Hanamura, but if you’re going to keep insisting that I know someone that I’m telling you I don’t, then I’m going to have to take you to the hospital to see a doctor. You’re not on some kind of drugs, are you? Go home. I need to take my daughter shopping - it’s not like I can let her wander around alone with the crap that’s been going on in town.”

Feeling panic set in, Yosuke stepped away from the door as Dojima and Nanako - who gave him another shy, curious look - locked up and got into the detective’s car; the whole situation was so _bewildering_ that he wasn’t even sure how to respond. The protest that _Souji’s your nephew!_ died in his throat; he knew Dojima’s ‘serious face’, and it was showing right now. He’d haul Yosuke off in a heartbeat if the brunette kept pushing him.

_What’s going on?_

As the car drove away, Dojima stuck his head out of the window, yelling for Yosuke to go home and go to sleep; the brunette sank down onto the front step, feeling dazed. Dropping his head into his hands, he tried to make sense of what was happening.

_Souji left. I haven’t gotten any texts from him._

_His number isn’t in my phone._

_His uncle says he doesn’t know who Souji is._

_Nanako doesn’t recognise me._

People often joke that they’re going crazy, but Yosuke honestly felt like he really was. _What’s going on? Is this some big joke? Dojima would never join in on something like that! Souji would never go along with it, either._

The most ‘obvious’ answer was that he’d somehow imagined Souji, but he dismissed that without even dwelling on it, although a small fragment in his mind wondered if such a rapid dismissal was because he was so scared of the idea. 

_Hell no. Souji’s my best friend. My partner. I still remember what his hand felt like when he helped me up off the floor after dealing with my shadow. If there’s anybody in my life that’s real, it’s Souji. Hell, I believe in him more than I believe in myself. But where is he? What_ happened?

Feeling sick and confused, Yosuke was just reaching into his pocket to take out his phone when he heard a rustling noise, which sounded like it had come from underneath the house. Freezing for a moment - sure, it was getting cold, but it was still warm enough for snakes and rats - he held his breath until he saw a small, grey head with stripes and whiskers pop out next to the step he was seated on. The kitten looked up, and as soon as it saw Yosuke, it mewed frantically, scrambling out from under the house, up onto the steps, and into his lap, where it sat there, shivering.

Yosuke liked cats well enough, although _nobody_ liked cats as much as Souji did, and he could tell that this kitten was not happy, although it seemed like it was well-fed and unhurt. Cupping one arm around it - the shivering was most likely because it was cold - he murmured quietly, trying to calm it down. Finding cats at the Dojima residence wasn’t exactly surprising, but with what was going on right now, he wasn’t sure whether or not this was a coincidence or a clue.

“You missing your buddy? Man, he probably feeds you every day… you’re a kitten, though. Shit. Can’t be more than a couple of months old…” The brunette sighed, and when he did, the kitten started to kick his hand. That at least elicited a small smile, although he still felt so lost that he didn’t even know what to think. Souji should _be_ here, and the fact that Yosuke didn’t even know where to find him… well, his anxiety was so strong that he was choking on it. 

Thoughts whirled around in his brain so fast that he couldn’t really focus on any of them; staring down, he continued to pet the kitten, who was kneading his thigh with two paws. Before it could settle in too comfortably, however, the brunette sighed. _When Dojima means business, he means business. They might not be home soon, but they might, and I don’t want to be here when they come back._ Reluctantly standing, he winced at the kitten’s mewls of dismay as it jumped off his lap.

“Sorry, lil buddy, I can’t stick around. You should go back to mom, or wherever. It’s just gonna get wetter and colder. I sure hope for your sake as well as mine that Souji comes back soon.” Not even letting himself consider the alternative, he dusted off his pants, shoved his hands into his pockets, and started back down the street, heading - without even thinking about it - towards the floodplain. 

About halfway there, the rain that had been threatening all weekend finally broke, and the brunette pulled his hood up over his head with an unhappy grumble. The sound of the drops hitting the pavement was rhythmic and steady, but as he turned onto the paved path that ran alongside the Samegawa, he became aware of another rhythmic noise that was neither the rain, nor his footsteps. It was too light to be another person, it didn’t sound like a bike wheel (he’d know), and-

Turning, his heart sank and he was immediately consumed by guilt. The kitten he’d left behind at the Dojimas’ was trotting along behind him, fur bedraggled and wet, its small tail sticking straight up into the air. As soon as it realised it had Yosuke’s attention it chirped, picking up speed as it ran for him; crouching down, he put his hands down and the kitten ran straight into them.

He almost melted.

He wondered if this was how Souji felt whenever he went ‘cat-crazy’; the brunette often teased him about it, but he couldn’t deny that his partner loved cats, and cats loved him back. They didn’t seem to mind Yosuke, but they were usually focused on Souji. This was really the first time any of them had ever tried to get the brunette’s attention, instead.

He kind of loved it.

Picking it up, he couldn’t miss its purring - so hard that it almost seemed frantic - and as he cradled it in one arm (using the other arm as a sort of cover since he didn’t have an umbrella), it pushed its head into the crook of his arm and he melted again. Looking around, he saw that the small, raised shelter was nearby; jogging over to it, he noted with relief that the table and chairs were dry, so he took a seat and carefully maneuvered the kitten into his lap. 

“You’re seriously soaked,” he grumbled, digging through his pockets to see if he had anything he could use as a towel. Fishing a wadded up (but clean, since he’d just shoved it into his pocket to make room) napkin out of his hoodie pocket, he stopped for a moment, staring at the creased Junes pattern on the surface.

 _Souji and I grabbed taiyaki last week, and I didn’t want to carry it_ and _my soda_ and _the napkin, so I shoved the napkin in my pocket. I had chocolate and lemon tea, Souji got red bean and melon soda._

Thinking about Souji made all of his confusion and doubt come rushing back, and his stomach sank. Feeling alone and helpless, his hands dropped to his knees, but before his emotions could overwhelm him, he felt a wet paw pat his cheek. Blinking, he looked down; the kitten was looking up at him with wide eyes - a pale blue-grey - and as he moved, his bangs shifted and the kitten reached up again. It seemed to be batting at his hair, and he had to laugh. 

“Sorry, buddy. Let’s both dry off.”

It was at least well-behaved, so while the kitten settled further into his lap (it had decided that right now its goal in life was to give Yosuke’s hand and wrist a bath while his new friend dried off his fur) the brunette finished cleaning them both up as best he could, using his fingers to wring some of the water out of his own hair. This had the benefit of calming him down a little, giving him a chance to think logically about the situation; he didn’t _need_ to face this alone, he had the others. Surely somebody would be able to figure this out. He pulled his phone out of his pocket; one of his hands was occupied, but it wasn’t like he didn’t text one-handed at work all the time. Typing frantically (as if he cared about spelling anyway) he sent a message to the group.

> cant find souji

> shit is weird 

> dojimas acting like he dunno who souji is

The kitten had just done a three-point-turnaround in his lap and settled down into a small loaf when his phone screen lit up; checking the group message, his stomach dropped.

> Chie: who

> Rise: What r u talking about senpai?

> Kanji: why ru at the cops house omg dont get us in trouble

> Naoto: Yosuke-senpai, who are you talking about? Has something happened that we should talk about? Is there another victim?

> Teddie: SENSEI WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME HOME

Staring at the words, Yosuke almost couldn’t process them. Not just Dojima, but now his _friends_ were saying they didn’t know Souji? What the hell was going on? “Why was he at Dojima’s house?” They’d _all_ been there not the Wednesday before to eat hot pot and help Nanako with homework. _Why is Teddie calling_ me _Sensei? That’s Souji’s title!_

He tried to force his stomach to stop roiling as he gathered his thoughts, shifting the kitten (who immediately protested) so that he could free both hands. They were shaking so badly that it took him several attempts to respond to the group; it was hard to pick out the right words, especially after his run-in with Dojima, but he finally settled on the truth.

> idk whats up u guys but this is weird

> souji is our leader n best friend

> if this is a joke its not funny

> ill admit it now im freaking out ok can we stop

There were a few moments when everybody tried to type at once - he could see the little messages at the bottom of the chat - but Naoto was finally the first one to respond (a fact for which he was grateful, since she was the most logic-based member of the team, and most-likely to not be joking, but also be willing to talk things out). 

> It’s not a joke, Yosuke-senpai.

> We don’t know anyone named Souji.

> However, as you are our leader and this isn’t the kind of prank you’d pull,

> I can only assume that something strange is going on.

> Shall we meet at Junes to talk about this?

Yosuke was having to try really hard to keep from hyperventilating as he read Naoto’s messages. The fact that this was _not_ a prank, and for some reason none of his friends remembered Souji, was becoming clearer the more people he talked to. 

Being called “leader” felt _wrong._

Normally he’d agree to meet at Junes, but as he shifted again the small bundle of fur that was vibrating in his lap stretched and yawned - now that it was dry he could see that it was a silver tabby, with the aforementioned pale eyes - and he shook his head. 

> cant do Junes rn long story

> im by the river by the tables

> rains stoppin see u all here?

Thirty minutes later they were all seated around the table - although the empty spot at Yosuke’s side where Souji would normally have been sent a pang through the brunette’s heart. Seeing everyone surrounding him, watching him with the kind of attention they would normally have given Souji was unnerving; while others might have expected him to want that kind of attention, he never had. He’d always been happy being the ideas guy, not the one who gave orders.

Except, now he had to lead. Or at least, until they figured out what was going on.

Clearing his throat, he shared what he knew, from losing track of Souji the night before, to this morning and his run-in with Dojima; when he got to the end, everyone was looking at one another, and then Naoto looked back.

“It’s a solid story, Yosuke-senpai. And I don’t know about the others, but I believe you - or, at least, I believe that this story is true to you. I don’t know why it’s not true to me, too, but it isn’t. I have no recollections of ever meeting this “Souji Seta”, nor do I have any evidence that I ever knew him.” She holds up her phone, which had everyone’s number in the IT, but no Souji; the sight made Yosuke feel sick, and it was worse when the murmurs and nods around the table were all in agreement with the detective.

At least she was listening to him. When he looked down, blinking hard as he tried not to feel overwhelmed by hopelessness, she tucked her phone back into her pocket. “We’ve all seen strange things. So I think it’s fair to say that this could be one of those strange things. Maybe something has happened to remove all of our memories of this person.”

“But why?” Yukiko, sitting across from Yosuke, frowned. “What would that do? Is it because we’re trying to solve the mystery?”

“That’s crazy, though. I know we’ve been dealing with some weird stuff, like shadows and things, but this is straight up somebody messing with our minds. What would that even _do?_ Is this Souji guy so important that they needed to just make it seem like he never existed? How can anything _do_ that? Ugh! The idea that somebody’s been screwing up my memories pisses me off!”

Biting back the protestation that of _course_ Souji was important, Yosuke had to admit that Chie was right. This was a pretty heavy situation, with a lot of implications. But at least - at least they’d decided that it _was_ a situation, and not that Yosuke was just going insane, or already there. 

The kitten in his lap took that opportunity to make itself known; they’d all been so focused on getting the story started that none of them had seen it yet, curled up as it was under the corner of the brunette’s jacket. As it stretched, squeaking, and stood up, Rise - who was sitting next to Yosuke - squealed.

“ _Ohmigosh it’s a kitten it’s so_ cute!”

Everyone immediately crowded around; for a moment Yosuke was tempted to wave them off - he didn’t want the kitten to get overwhelmed or for them to chase it away - but when he saw how relaxed it still seemed to be, he shrugged. As the group talked back and forth, Kanji slid into the empty spot next to Yosuke.

“It’s- it’s, uh, really cute, senpai.”

“Yeah, it kinda is.” Yosuke looked down, smiling a little; he couldn’t _not_ smile, not with the stretching routine it was currently doing, eyes half-slitted as it purred and kneaded. Reaching down, he ran his palm over its head, eliciting an even louder purr; Kanji almost short-circuited at this.

“Can I-”

“Go ahead.” Yosuke knew what his friend was going to ask even before he did, and he watched with amusement as Kanji reached down to gently pet the kitten, too. When he did, it ‘prrrrp’d’, stretching and rolling over; Kanji almost had a heart attack, and Yosuke had to admit it was pretty damn cute. 

“Wanna hold it?” It wasn’t like the kitten _belonged_ to Yosuke. Kanji’s face lit up, and as he reached down, Yosuke slid his hands under the kitten to lift it up. The kitten started, looking a bit startled, and Yosuke found himself thinking that maybe he really _didn’t_ want somebody else picking it up, but as soon as Kanji’s hands closed (gently) around the small ball of fur, it hissed, digging its claws (painfully) into Yosuke’s sleeve. The brunette yelped, dumping it back into his lap unceremoniously; rubbing his wrist, he looked down at the kitten sitting in his lap, looking for all the world like it was sulking as it knuckled back down into his lap.

“The hell was _that?_ ” he grumbled. It looked up, and for a moment, the two stared at one another; the kitten seemed to be over whatever issue it had been having, and when Kanji reached down to pet it again, it closed its eyes and purred, as it had before. 

Rise leaned over from the other side. “It loves being petted; maybe it just doesn’t want to be picked up.” She tested this out by reaching down to pet the kitten; as expected, it purred, rubbing its head against her hand. When she curled her fingers to pick it up, however, it immediately scrunched away. “I dunno.” She giggles. “It seems to just reeeeally love you, senpai. Not that I blame it.” 

She sat back down next to him, putting her arm through his, and Yosuke found himself feeling distinctly uncomfortable. Rise was a flirt, sure, but she only ever acted like this with _Souji_ ; it wasn’t that she wasn’t cute, and it wasn’t that he wanted to see her hitting on his best friend, but the fact that nobody else thought this was odd brought home the realisation that they were all living in a different reality from him - one in which Souji didn’t exist.

With a wrenching heart, he looked down at the kitten, suddenly overwhelmed by the need to hug it. When he reached down, it looked up, and then stood up; for a moment he thought it might hiss at him, too, but no - it just climbed into his hands and bumped its head against his shoulder. Next to him, Rise started to ‘awww’, but he shook his head. 

“I’m- I’m sorry, guys. I’m grateful that you all came out here, and I’m glad you listened to me and that you aren’t immediately dismissing me as crazy, but… I really need to be alone right now, if you don’t mind.” He gathered the kitten in his arms - all it did was purr harder and louder when he did - but before he could move, Naoto stood up.

“Of course, senpai. Given what you told us, you must be feeling overwhelmed right now. Come on, everybody, let’s head home.”

He looked up at her, nodding gratefully; his friends all either bid him a quiet goodbye or patted his shoulder, and Teddie called out, “I’ll be waiting for you and your meowvellous new friend at home! Feel better, sensei!” as Kanji hauled him off. It was good that they left, because it was getting harder and harder for him to keep a neutral face. 

Yosuke wasn’t a cryer - he never really had been. Even when Saki died, and when he talked about her again with Souji, he’d had a few tearful moments, but he’d never actually sat down and just let it out. Facing his shadow was the closest he’d gotten to actually crying, and that was more of a mixture of mortification, frustration, and terror.

Now, though… now, Yosuke couldn’t hold it in any longer. It started small, with tears in his eyes that he had to sniffle through, trying not to get the kitten any more wet than it had been; soon, however, the pain and confusion washed over him and he found himself screwing his face up as he tried to hold it back, but it didn’t work. Crossing his arms on the table, he dropped his face onto them, sobbing. 

The kitten, who’d been curled up in the brunette’s lap since he’d put his hands up to his face, squirmed; he sat back immediately, worried that he’d been crushing it, but instead of jumping down, it jumped up onto the table, making another ‘prrrp’ sound. He stared at it, brows furrowed and tears streaming down his cheeks as he hiccupped back his sobs; it chirped again, rubbing along his arm, and when he leaned over it half-jumped so that it could rub along his cheek.

Could _anyone_ keep crying at such a time? Even if he still felt absolutely miserable, a small smile flickered - for just a moment - across his lips as he scrubbed at his cheek. “Hey there,” he mumbled. “You’re getting hair stuck all over my face, you know that?” And the kitten just sat there, looking innocent, and… well, he couldn’t laugh, but he at least smiled, this time fully. 

“You’re something,” he said, quietly, reaching out to pet it; closing its eyes, it rubbed against his hand, and he sighed. It was then that Teddie’s words came back to him.

_I’ll be waiting for you and your meowvellous new friend at home!_

It was clear by now that the kitten didn’t want to leave, and there was no collar, no charm, no name or address. He didn’t particularly want to leave it behind, either; not only was the weather bad, but… well, right now it felt like the only comfort he really had. His friends were good, but they were part of the problem, whether it was fair or not. Honestly, he was glad the conversation was over. It was clear by now that whatever was going on wasn’t going to be solved by logic, and the more they tried, the more it hurt.

Running his hand along the kitten’s side, Yosuke rolled it over onto its back - which it accepted without any issue, even going so far as to start playing with his hand, biting his fingers - and looked for tattoos, but didn’t see any to suggest it might be chipped. Not like anybody really did that outside the city, anyway. Noting that it was a boy - the brunette felt weird, constantly calling the kitten ‘it’ - he rubbed the fluffy belly in front of him once before it rolled back over, looking indignant. 

Yosuke couldn’t help but laugh at his expression. “Well, what do you say? Want to come home with me?”

It was a _really_ bad idea. He’d never had a pet - honestly, hadn’t asked for one before - but he was pretty sure that his parents would be against it. Still, he’d probably be able to get Teddie to help him hide the kitten, and…

_And what? I’ll need a litter box, at least. And cat food. And toys. And cats smell like… well… cats. How was he going to hide that?_

At his question, however, the kitten had started to purr again, rubbing against his arm, and with that face… well, Yosuke just couldn’t say no. 

_I’ll figure it out later. Right now, I’ve been thinking way too much._

He made room in his jacket, and the kitten curled up happily against his side; he was warm, and kind of tickled, and the brunette found himself almost smiling as he hurried home.

It didn’t change the fact, though, that he missed Souji.


	2. Chapter 2

Seated on his bed an hour later, he looked down at the now-completely-dry pile of fluff dozing on his lap. Getting him home hadn’t been difficult; the kitten was as docile as ever (come to think of it, had he heard him meow once since he’d first found him?) and as usual, the brunette’s parents weren’t home. There had been a dicey moment when he was fumbling for his keys and the kitten had squirmed out of his jacket, jumping down; before Yosuke could freak out, however, the kitten merely lept into the long planter next to the door and had started digging, albeit a little awkwardly. 

Realising that the kitten was just using the restroom, Yosuke breathed a sigh of relief. “Not sure why I was thinking you’d run away after all of this,” he said, reaching down to pet the kitten’s head as he rubbed along his ankle. This reminded him, however, that he was going to need to get kitten supplies, and neither he nor the kitten had eaten since the morning (well, he didn’t know when the last time was that the kitten had eaten). 

Debating going out to Junes, he finally decided against it. It was raining, and he was feeling really, really worn out. Tucking his head into the fridge, he found a Junes-brand chicken katsu bento - his mom usually left something like that for him when they were going to be working late - and he nodded. “Looks like it’s leftovers for you and me, kitty.” 

While it was heating, he took a look around the kitchen. Grabbing a small box that had once held packets of noodles - seriously, sure it was cheaper to buy in bulk but sometimes he felt like his pantry looked like the stockroom at Junes - he slipped the now-hot container into it before reaching into the cupboard to nab an old bowl, one that was chipped and missing most of its fellows and that would be less-likely to be missed, and filled it with water. Slipping a bottle of fruit milk into his hoodie pocket - his father loved the stuff, and he figured it would be better than nothing, _I just hope the lil guy likes banana_ \- he looked around to pick the kitten up, but when he realised that he was sitting patiently at his heel, he decided to just let the kitten follow him.

“You are one chill little dude, you know that?” He shook his head. “I didn’t realise kittens could be so relaxed.” 

Food and refreshments had followed - the kitten had looked askance at the banana milk, taken one sip, crossed his eyes, and made a beeline for the water, so Yosuke shrugged and drank it himself - and by the time Teddie was out of the shower (explaining why he hadn’t been at the door to loudly greet them) Yosuke had an old comb and was carefully running it along the kitten’s sides. He was surprisingly clean, for an outdoor cat, and he hadn’t seen any signs of fleas or mites.

After Teddie spent the requisite time ooh-ing and awe-ing over the kitten - who thoroughly enjoyed letting himself be pet, but still wouldn’t let anyone other than Yosuke pick him up - Yosuke sighed, stroking the kitten’s head. 

“Will you watch him when I’m at school tomorrow, Ted? I can’t let mom find him. And I gotta go by Junes after class to pick up some supplies.”

“You’re gonna keep him? Yay!” When Yosuke hushed him - not knowing when his parents were going to get home, after all - Ted tilted his head. “But can’t you take him to school?”

“Hell no!” Yosuke grimaced at Teddie. “I can’t just keep a kitten in my desk! Besides, if Kashiwagi found him she’d _love_ him and I wouldn’t do that to _anybody!_ ” 

Teddie - who’d heard plenty of stories - laughed, and on Yosuke’s lap, the kitten made a small noise of distress, pushing his head into the brunette’s arm. Looking down, Yosuke frowned.

“Sorry, bud. I guess I stopped brushing you. Hang on.” He started up again, but instead of settling into a loaf again, this time the kitten flopped over onto his back, reaching up to bat at the comb, trying to chew on one of its teeth. Laughing, Yosuke looked around the room before spotting a piece of ribbon on his desk, leftover from a present he’d gotten a few months ago for his birthday, sticking out from one of the drawers.

Snagging it, he dangled it over the kitten’s head, watching as his eyes immediately dilated. Both front paws went up, claws stretched out, and after watching the ribbon bounce for a moment, he started to wave them frantically at it, trying to catch it as it danced out of his reach. 

Even as depressed and confused as he felt, Yosuke couldn’t help laughing at this. The sound made the kitten stop and stare up at him with wide eyes; smiling, the brunette twitched the ribbon, and off he went again, this time pushing himself in circles on Yosuke’s lap, on his back, trying to catch the elusive prey. 

At this point, Yosuke couldn’t help but laugh. The kitten was so cute, so energetic that it warmed his heart. Turning his head, he started to speak without even really thinking about it.

“He’s stupid cute, isn’t he, part… ...ner...”

He remembered halfway through the last word, and his heart plummeted. The hand that was holding the ribbon dropped to his knee, and he looked away, blinking hard to keep the tears out of his eyes and the pain out of his throat. In his lap, the kitten seemed to sense that something was wrong, because it rolled back over, putting a paw (with claws still slightly out, so that they prickled) onto the brunette’s hand and starting to wash his thumb with a rough pink tongue.

It wasn’t enough to make him smile this time - the pain of missing Souji, of not knowing what was going on was so strong that it left him breathless - but it was at least enough to keep the tears at bay, and he rubbed his arm over his face. 

“We should go to bed. I’ve gotta get up for school in the morning.”

Teddie didn’t complain, perhaps sensing Yosuke’s mood, and the brunette changed into his sleep clothes, feeling subdued and dull. Rummaging through one of his dresser drawers, he found an old hoodie he didn’t wear anymore and folded it up, placing it into the box he’d brought from the kitchen. Placing it on the end of his bed, he picked the kitten up.

“Here. It’s not exactly a cat bed, but it’ll do until I can get you one.”

The kitten carefully sniffed the hoodie from one end to the other, then turned around once and sat down, tucking his tail around his feet as he stared up at the brunette, who flopped, face-first, down onto the bed. When Teddie turned out the lights, Yosuke sighed, pulling his covers up over him and curling onto one side.

It was hard not to think about Souji, and moreso in the dark. That wasn’t exactly a good topic for getting to sleep, and he pulled his covers tighter under his chin, a frown stretching across his lips. Before he could tear up, however - _seriously, Hanamura, since when were you such a cry baby?_ \- he felt pressure on top of the covers, his pillow shifted, and suddenly there was a very warm, very furry, very purring flank pressed against his cheek. 

Strangely enough, this was enough to make it a little easier to breathe - even if there was a kitten tucked up against his face - and although he didn’t want to turn the light on, he reached up to pet the rumbling ball of fluff, discovering that the kitten had curled up right in the nook between his shoulder and chin, and since _he_ seemed to be happy, and Yosuke certainly didn’t have any complaints, he simply stroked his fur, sighing softly.

“Thanks, buddy.”

Yosuke still didn’t feel _good_ , but he managed to finally drift to sleep with at least something of a calmer heart.

* * *

Waking the next morning, Yosuke rubbed his eyes. He was just thinking that he’d had the _weirdest_ (worst) dream ever, about Souji disappearing with no one remembering him, and then Yosuke had found a kitten, and-

At this moment, a fuzzy grey paw - very small- stretched out in front of his face, claws extending. His stomach sinking, the brunette realised that this meant that it hadn’t _been_ a dream. Reaching for his phone - hampered by the kitten paws that wrapped around his wrist and the needle-like teeth that latched into his thumb lightly before licking the ball of his hand - he flipped it open to confirm that there was still no entry for “Souji Seta” in his address book.

Even though the dismay that washed over him was real, he still had to smile at the kitten; he sat up, once Yosuke removed his hand, scratched his ear for a moment, then started to pick his way across the mounds and folds of blanket, as well as the brunette’s knees and feet. 

“Breakfast time, isn’t it? And then I should get a shower, and-”

At this moment Yosuke actually took the time to _look_ at the clock on his phone; as the reality that it was only thirty minutes before the start of class sank in he jumped out of bed in a panic, startling the kitten so that it fled under the bed. 

“Shit! I’m going to be late!” 

Jerking his uniform on - thanking his stars that he’d had a shower the night before after all the rain - he tore downstairs, grabbing his school bag and running out the door as soon as he had his shoes on. Grabbing his phone as he ran, he sent a text to Ted.

> gonna b late feed the cat pls

> give him tuna n the pantry just 1 pak

Ignoring Teddie’s return text calling Yosuke a cat mom, the brunette flew along the path to school. It was so weird not to be going with Souji, but he was also almost late, and that dulled his introspection for the time being - when he was late, he got in trouble, and when he got in trouble, his parents got involved. Which was not something he wanted - not with the case still being open, even if they were at a dead end right now. Not with an illicit kitten living in his room. 

At his desk, however, his mind went back to Souji, and he didn’t even try to concentrate on the lecture. It was just another sign that there _was_ something wrong; Yukiko was at Souji’s desk, next to Chie, and one of their other classmates was in Yukiko’s old desk. Crossing his arms on his desk, the brunette hunched over them, head down as he stared across the classroom and out at the sky. 

The only thing that even slightly diverted his attention was the kitten. Teddie, luckily, kept him up-to-date with its well-being throughout the morning; mostly, what it was doing was sleeping on the window sill, but at least he knew that it was comfortable and had been fed. It made him wish he could have skipped class and stayed home with it, but… well, he’d promised Souji early on that he wouldn’t skip, because they both wanted to go to uni together.

He was going to keep that promise, even if Souji wasn’t here.

Autopilot had him out on the roof at lunch before he could even half-register where he was going. Realising that he didn’t have a lunch - he’d gotten so used to sharing bentos with Souji, or going to get cup noodles together that he hadn’t even thought to grab something on the way out - he turned to start back down the stairs; maybe he could get something from the vending machine. Not that he really wanted to eat, but getting sick would only make everything worse.

Before he could open the door, however, he found himself bumping into Chie - who, of course, shoved him away, which strangely made him feel a little better, like at least _some_ things were normal. When they stopped making faces at each other, he realised that the whole team was there.

For a moment, everyone looked at each other awkwardly, but Rise then ducked forward to grab his arm. “We were looking for you, Senpai! Let’s all eat lunch together!” 

He protested that he hadn’t brought anything, but Yukiko had an extra udon bowl, which he took, albeit reluctantly. It wasn’t their fault that they didn’t remember Souji, and therefore made everything feel weird, but the fact still was that he _did_ feel weird. Still, they were his friends, so he owed it to them to make an effort. 

For the most part, nobody talked about the day before, for which the brunette, on one hand, was grateful. They weren’t going to be able to come to some quick resolution, and just talking the same things over and over again hurt. On the other hand, however, he was left with the gnawing feeling that _something was wrong_ and yet nobody else was acknowledging it. 

That was why he was so surprised when, as they packed up to go back inside, Naoto cleared her throat.

“Senpai. I know we don’t know what’s going on, but we know that you’re dealing with something very strange right now. How about we go into the TV after school? We might be able to find some clues. After all, you said that the last time you saw Souji was inside the TV, right before leaving for the night, correct?”

Yosuke had been toying with the idea of going in on and off since the day before, but he hadn’t been sure that the others would be on board with it. After all, none of them remembered Souji, so why should it matter if they didn’t know where he was? Hearing Naoto offer it, however - with the nods around the group and the reassuring smiles - lifted his spirits just a little. After all, they _might_ find something.

“Yeah, definitely.” Scrambling to his feet, he started to brush himself off, feeling a little too embarrassed to meet anyone’s eye. “I was wanting to go in. I hope we’ll find something. Thanks guys.” 

There were murmurs of ‘of course!’ around the group, and although Yosuke’s mood couldn’t be considered anything near ‘light’, it was enough that he was able to pay attention at least a little more, between texts from Teddie about the kitten. 

* * *

When class let out he hadn’t heard from Ted for a couple of hours, but that wasn’t totally unusual, even if he was getting a little bit antsy about the kitten. 

_I’ll need to stop by Shiroku after school, grab some food before we go into the TV. Sure I can grab stuff at Junes, but I’ll want to feed him before I leave him alone. Who knows what we’re going to find in the TV?_ He was still hoping against hope that they’d find something about Souji, something that would help them resolve this nightmare, and that could take them a while to deal with.

There was no denying that Shiroku was a strange store, selling odds-and-ends, as well as everyday items someone might need to step out and grab quickly to finish a meal or a cleaning project, plus food and traditional medicines, which the team had often taken advantage of. They didn’t have a _lot_ of pet products, but they did have a few cans of cat food on a lower shelf; after crouching to pick two out, Yosuke stood up, but before he could walk away his attention was caught by a row of collars. Most of them were scraps of fabric - probably from Tatsumi textiles - with bells sewn on, but one was made of braided red cords, and he found himself drawn to it. Running his thumb along the edge, he decided to go ahead and get it. He could remove the bell so that his parents wouldn’t hear it, but the kitten would still have a marker if it got out so that someone would know it was a pet. 

_The kitten, huh. I really need to give him a name_. 

He’d been thinking about that subject throughout the day. He’d rejected the standard fare - Fluffy or Stormy or Smokey or Puss or Misty. And then, he’d thought about naming it _Souji_ , but that… that just felt wrong. Souji was his best friend, his partner, not a cat. No matter how much Souji loved cats, or how warm and comfortable the kitten made Yosuke feel, that name was off-limits. 

He was still struggling with the question when he got up to the counter to pay; as the owner handed him his change, his phone buzzed with a text. Shoving the coins into his pocket, he took the small paper bag with a nod of thanks, then ducked out of the door to check his phone. 

The text was from Ted, and its contents made Yosuke’s heart plummet. 

> IM SO SORRY SENSEI MOM FOUND KITTY AND SHES MAD YOUD BETTER COME HOME

Taking off at a run, Yosuke tore down the street as fast as he could run; he was clearing corners at a clip that almost made him stumble, but that was because he was terrified. He’d only had the kitten for a day but he was already Yosuke's biggest comfort; he couldn’t bear to think of his parents making him give him up. He _needed_ the kitten, and the kitten needed him - the brunette remembered how bedraggled he had looked the night before. 


	3. Chapter 3

Bursting through the door, he barely stopped to kick his shoes off before hurrying to the living room, still gripping the paper bag in his hand. The first thing he saw was his mother, looking angry; on the table next to her sat the kitten, huddled up and looking for all the world like it felt dejected or guilty. Yosuke’s heart sank, and he felt tears prickling his eyes, though he wouldn’t give them any leeway.

“ _Look Mom I know it’s a big step but I’ve already been taking care of him and he’s really sweet and he was all alone in the rain and see how friendly he is? I’ll take care of him you won’t have to and you won’t even know he’s around unless you want to see him, it’s almost winter it would be cruel to put him back outside!_ ”

Yosuke really never asked his parents for much. It wasn’t that he was averse to asking, but they gave him what he needed already, and the money he got from working at Junes was enough for him to buy anything he wanted. His pleas were clearly a surprise to his mother, who raised an eyebrow at him before looking at the kitten.

“You know that you should have asked before even bringing it inside. Cats make messes!” she said. “And when you brought that plant home from school, it died within a month because you never watered it.”

“ _Mo-o-om_ , I was like, eight!” Yosuke grimaced. “I know it’s a lot of responsibility, but I _promise_ I’ll take care of him, he’s just a kitten, and-”

“What’s in your hand?” 

He looked down in surprise at the change of subject, having almost forgotten that he was carrying the bag. Reaching in, he pulled out the contents. “I was gonna get more food at Junes, and some supplies like a litter box and a bed and toys, but we had to feed him tuna this morning so I wanted to make sure he got a decent meal before I went out.” Tightening his hand around the collar, he looked down. There were so many things going through the brunette’s head - _he’s the only thing that makes me happy_ and _I feel like I can relax around him_ and _I just want to pet him_ , but he couldn’t bring himself to say any of them. Not when he already knew he was being overly sensitive. Just seeing how scared the kitten looked right now made him angry, but he knew his mother wasn’t trying to be a tyrant, so he took a deep breath.

Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Teddie on the couch, his eyes widening a little as he mouthed, “Sensei?” His mother watched him for a moment, turning to look at the kitten.

“You do seem to have made all of the necessary arrangements,” she said, eventually, reaching out to lightly run a hand over the kitten’s back, at which point it stretched out just a little. “You’re going to take care of it, although Teddie can help when you’re at school or work, and its supplies are going to come out of your paycheck, which means less money for gas or new clothes.”

“I’m okay with that.” He really was. A new pair of shoes every month wasn’t as important as the kitten. “I was already planning on buying everything he needed.”

There was a long silence, and Yosuke watched anxiously as his mother continued to pet the kitten, although the kitten was staring at him. Finally, she sighed, putting her hands in her lap, and stood up.

“I’ll talk to your father, and if he says no, there’s nothing I can do about it. Otherwise, though, you can keep him.” The kitten sat up, meowing at this; Yosuke felt the first feeling of _relief_ wash over him since before Souji had disappeared, and even if he knew it would be short-lived - after all, this hadn’t _solved_ anything - he was still grateful for the feeling.

He threw his arms around his mother in a hug. “Thanks mom, I promise-” 

“I know, Yosuke.” His mother hugged him back. “I’ve complained about you plenty of times, but you’re a good boy. Now go take care of your kitten, I have to get ready for work.”

Before either of them could leave, however, she turned back. “Does he have a name yet?”

Stopping halfway to the table, Yosuke looked down at the kitten, who was staring up at him. He’d been thinking about it, and with all that had been going on, he felt like there was really only one name he could use. Reaching down to pet the kitten, he smiled a little wistfully.

“I named him Nagi. “ Short for Izanagi, but his mom didn’t need to know that. Teddie didn’t recognise the name - Yosuke expected this, but it still made him sad - but surprisingly enough, the kitten meowed again, this time almost sounding frantic as he jumped off the table and ran over to Yosuke, half-standing on his haunches to rub against the brunette’s leg before Yosuke reached down to pick him up.

“Well, he seems to like the name.” His mom smiled once more, then shooed Yosuke (and Teddie) upstairs; in the brunette’s arms Nagi was purring and burying his head in the crook of his elbow and Yosuke couldn’t help laughing. In their room, Teddie flopped onto the bean bag chair near the table.

“Whew! That was bearrific, Sensei! I thought we were goners! I’m really sorry, I went to work and didn’t even think that mom would come in to do laundry.”

 _Oh, crap. It_ is _laundry day._ Yosuke had been so wrapped up in all of his worries that he hadn’t even thought of that.

“It’s okay, Ted. Everything’s fine, now, and I should have remembered, anyway.” Letting Nagi down onto the bed, Yosuke sat, then flopped backwards. Now that the immediate danger had passed - sure, his mom had _said_ she was going to ask his father, but if she was okay with it he knew his dad would be - he took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.

As he lay there, a sudden weight landed on his stomach; ‘oof’-ing for a moment, he looked up to see the kitten - Nagi - circling to find a place to lay down. Laughing, Yosuke petted him. 

“Well, I guess you’re one of the family now, Nagi. And you’ve got a name. You seem to like it.”

The kitten meowed again at this, and instead of curling up he clambered down Yosuke’s chest towards his face, slipping a little - which made the brunette wince, because _claws_ \- and Yosuke just chuckled, breathlessly, as he petted Nagi’s head. 

“All right, now I need to-”

As he said this, his phone buzzed; fumbling in his pocket - and pushing the cat head out of the way - he flipped it open to see a text from Naoto.

> Are you and Teddie meeting us tonight?

_Shit_. It was definitely later than he’d meant to be, so he typed out a quick response. 

> yeh sry sorting out kitten w mom

> gonna feed him and come out

> brt

“Come on, Ted.” He sighed; part of him just wanted to hang around and play with Nagi, but that was nothing compared to his _need_ to see if he could figure out what had happened to Souji. “Let’s grab our things, I’m gonna feed Nagi and then we can head to Junes.”

* * *

There was nothing new in the TV, and although Yosuke had hoped against hope, deep down he’d been afraid that this would happen. It wasn’t that he was starting to not believe in Souji, but he _was_ losing hope that he was going to be able to find any kind of clue as to what had happened - or how to fix it.

After visiting Ms. Yamano’s room and then making their way through the shopping district, as the place where Souji had awakened his persona, then the dungeons belonging to Naoto and Kubo as the two most recent and likely to have any clues, they took a break at the back lot to regroup and see if anyone had noticed anything. Once they’d all admitted to coming up empty-handed, Chie sighed.

“Maybe we should check out Yukiko’s castle next? I mean, that was where we started to figure things out. Or… Rise’s strip club - wasn’t that where Teddie’s shadow said some creepy things? I just dunno… what would make _sense_?”

Yosuke, of course, wanted to keep going. He was tired, but he wasn’t at the end of his rope. One look at the time, however, reminded him that he had some shopping to do; he wasn’t going to go back on his promise to take care of Nagi, and that meant getting the kitten some supplies. Besides, Souji had always cautioned him not to push it too far. If he was going to keep trying to figure out what was going on, he’d need to not wear himself out. 

“Sorry, guys.” He sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose. “I wanna keep going, but it’s getting late - and I gotta buy some stuff from Junes before I head home.”

There were nods all around; even if everybody wanted to help Yosuke, nobody knew what it was that they were _looking_ for, and all they had to go off was the brunette’s suggestions as to which places seemed likely. He knew that as well as they did, and it hurt. The fact that they were _so_ willing to help him even if they didn’t understand hurt, too; they were Souji’s friends too, and the fact that they didn’t remember was awful. And all of that just made him feel worse, like he was leading them through a wild-goose chase. 

Leaving the TV made his heart sink, since it reminded him of two nights previous, when Souji had been with them. They all bid each other farewell with rather low spirits, and Yosuke told Ted to go ahead and go back without him, he’d be along once he was done picking up supplies for Nagi. 

He didn’t intend to take a long time, but he’d underestimated the size of Junes’s pet department. Upon entry, he was greeted by a large cutout of a fluffy orange kitten; it was cute, even if it wasn’t as cute as Nagi, and he smiled a bit as he started to peruse the aisles.

A lot of what they had were high-tech ‘time-savers’ - automatic feeders and fountains, cages, groomers, and the like. Yosuke really just wanted _normal_ cat things, so he searched until he finally found the basic supplies; sure, the other stuff could be nifty, but it was all expensive and unnecessary. Of course, there was still a large supply of everything else - one look at the different types of litter boxes and he immediately wished Souji was with him to explain what he was actually looking for - but that thought just made him feel worse, so he locked it out of his mind and turned back to the beds.

He picked through them listlessly until he put his hand one one that was green and very soft; it was small, so Nagi would probably grow out of it soon, but it felt so soft and when he looked closer at it, he realised it was shaped like a frog’s head. Thinking about Jiraiya, he decided he _had_ to get it - Nagi would look so cute curled up inside it. That piqued his interest; from beds he moved on to dishes, and from there he went to toys. By the time he’d gotten to the end of the aisle he had two bowls (food and water), a brush, one pack of catnip mice, one of those long ribbon toys, a two-in-one bottle of pet shampoo and conditioner, and a packet of tuna flakes. He shoved everything into a basket - now that he had the toys he couldn’t _wait_ to get home to see the look on Nagi’s face - and went to find somebody to help him figure out the litter boxes.

* * *

“Holy _crap_ this stuff’s heavy!” 

Muttering to himself, he crouched to set the litter box on the ground outside the front door; he’d just gotten a basic box, but it was big enough to carry _most_ of his other purchases, sans litter. It was heavy, though. And litter was nothing to sneeze at. Fishing his key out of his pocket, he opened the door and - after making sure that his parents’ shoes weren’t at the door - shouted for Teddie to come help him carry stuff.

It warmed his heart when he walked into their bedroom and Nagi’s head shot up. The kitten immediately scrambled up, tried to jump off the bed, tripped, and fell into the ground; before an alarmed Yosuke could hurry over, Nagi picked himself up, shook himself, trotted over to the brunette, making a ‘prrp’-ing sound. 

Yosuke’s hands were full, but that just gave him an excuse to put everything down in the corner and pick up the kitten, who was already purring so loud that he could hear it, and who immediately leaned up to rub his head against the brunette’s chin. 

“Hey,” Yosuke said. “You seem to be in a good mood. Everything go okay while I was gone?”

“Yep!” Teddie came in at this, carrying the litter. “I bearly knew he was here!” 

Yosuke shook his head - at least Teddie was _always_ making bear puns, so _some_ things hadn’t changed - and laughed again as Nagi put a paw up to bat at the brunette’s nose. “Okay. I gotta put your litter box together, but that shouldn’t take long.” Setting the kitten down, he was amused at how tidily he sat up, wrapping his tail around his feet as he waited. Looking around, the brunette snagged the bag of catnip mice and opened it, tossing one to Nagi who jerked backwards in surprise, hesitantly walked over to sniff it, reared up, pounced, and proceeded to roll all over the floor, gripping it in his front paws as he gnawed on it and kicked at it with his back claws.

Even as down as he was feeling, Yosuke couldn’t _not_ laugh at that. It was really cute, actually, and he stood watching for a good five minutes before the bag of litter caught his eye and he sighed, picking it up. “Okay, okay, let me get this done and then I’ll come back and we’ll play.”

A half-hour later, after finishing with the litter box and then a shower to wash off the litter dust and the grime of the TV world, saw Yosuke curled up on his bed with Nagi dashing across the covers, jumping and batting at the ribbon toy, the kitten’s tiny tail sticking straight up and his whiskers sticking straight out. Teddie was sitting on the floor, watching, and both boys were laughing at the scene. 

After a particularly vicious romp, Nagi plopped down, sides heaving, eyes wide and dilated as his head whipped back and forth, watching the string. It was clear that he’d tired himself out, however, and after another few swishes, Yosuke tossed the toy up onto his desk with a yawn.

“All right, bud. It’s bedtime. I don’t wanna go to school tomorrow, but I gotta. Let’s get some rest.”

Teddie whined at this, too, like he always did, but that was another comforting part of their routine, and within a half-hour the lights were off and Yosuke was laying in bed. He could tell that it was going to be harder for him to get to sleep tonight, at which point he couldn’t help but sigh. A few moments later, however, he felt pressure on the blankets draped across him, and with a soft ‘prrp’, Nagi landed on his chest and then immediately knuckled down.

“Hey,” Yosuke whispered, reaching up to pet the purring loaf; when he did, Nagi head-butted his hand, and the brunette found himself smiling a little as he scratched the kitten’s chin. Having a warm lump on his chest seemed to help his depression, too. It wasn’t gone, but it somehow made the thoughts going through his head a little more bearable.

Still petting Nagi’s head Yosuke yawned, finally finding himself falling asleep. Even as his eyes drifted shut, however, the same thought was circling through his brain. 

_Partner, where the hell are you?_

* * *

The team went in again the next day, at Yosuke’s request, but despite meticulously combing each of the dungeons they’d skipped the night before, they found nothing of note and even less of interest. While Yosuke still firmly believed that his friend _existed_ , he found himself feeling so discouraged by the end of the evening that it was hard to say two words to anyone before leaving and when he got home, he slogged dejectedly through his shower before crawling into bed. He didn’t even have to search for Nagi; it was as if the kitten could sense that he was feeling bad and wanted to help, curling up next to him, above his shoulder and next to his ear, purring as if his life depended on it. 

Waking the next morning, Yosuke felt _so_ miserable and _so_ reluctant to face his friends that he managed to get his mother to call him out sick. It wasn’t something he did often, and to be honest - he truly felt ill. Not only did he miss Souji like a hole in his heart (although he chastised himself for using such a cheesy metaphor) but he felt awkward meeting the rest of his group. After all, he was the only one who remembered Souji, the only one who _cared_ \- and even if it wasn’t the others’ faults, he couldn’t help resenting them. 

Adding that to the fact that he felt guilty dragging them through two wild-goose chases without anything to show for their time, and he just found himself avoiding them as much as he could for the rest of the week. Every morning found him hurrying to school, shoulders hunched, headphones crammed over his ears to keep him from listening for the hurrying footsteps that never came - or, when they did, belonged to some unnamed classmate he didn’t know. Every afternoon found him hurrying home, his only sliver of anything even remotely resembling happiness coming from the knowledge that Nagi would be waiting for him when he got home.

It was almost as if the kitten knew that this wasn’t how Yosuke was supposed to be, that he felt miserable and empty inside and _didn’t_ want to be alone even as he _did_. Even Teddie could sense it and gave him space, but Nagi was just the right amount of company and he’d curl up in Yosuke’s lap or on his chest and purr, or chase toys, or just sit with the brunette. Yosuke felt like he should resent the kitten for bringing his guard down, but the truth was… he actually felt _comfortable_ when Nagi was with him. Maybe it wasn’t the same as when he’d been with his partner, but it was a familiar sense of peace, and he couldn’t resent it because it felt so natural - and it was really his only comfort right now, the only thing that let him sleep at night. He even laughed once in a while, dangling a ribbon or throwing a catnip mouse and watching the kitten roll around on the floor. 

His laughter, however, was a hollow echo compared to its once-bright peals.


	4. Chapter 4

Yosuke was almost grateful when Saturday rolled around, because as a half-day it meant that there was no lunch break. He’d spent the last several days steadfastly avoiding the rest of the group; it wasn’t that he was… _mad_ at them, or anything. It was just that the combination of guilt, for being focused so hard on something that didn’t matter to the rest of them, and the pain he felt every time he looked at them, and saw Souji missing, and nobody else aware of that fact. No lunch break meant one less moment of awkward avoidance. 

He was just leaning over, fastening the straps of his messenger bag when a familiar shadow fell across his desk; it was Chie, and Yosuke found himself tensing up when their eyes met and he could see the hopeful-yet-wary expression staring up at him. 

“Oh, hey, Chie.” Quickly looping his bag over his shoulder, he ducked past her. “Well, have a good aft-”

Before he could get the rest of his sentence out, he found himself being jerked backwards; yelping, he danced to one side to avoid falling over, and realised that she’d grabbed the strap of his bag. When he rubbed his arm with a “what the hell, Chie?”, she just crossed her arms and glared at him, although the expression was softer than he would have expected. 

“What the hell me? More like what the hell _you_. Come on, Yosuke! You’ve been avoiding us all week!” When he winced at this - because, well, it was _true_ \- and looked around, she sighed. “Hey. Just- look. We know you’re upset and worried, but… don’t you get it? We are, too. I know he’s your friend, but… aren’t we your friends, too?”

Stopping with his hand halfway up to rub his neck, Yosuke stared at her, finding himself having to stare - because Chie’s words had slapped him, hard. They _were_ his friends, and he’d been treating them like outsiders because he was so worried about Souji. Sure, Souji mattered - he mattered a _lot_ , he was Yosuke’s best friend - but he hadn’t been treating his other friends fairly. Turning red, he looked down at the ground, taking a deep breath.

“You’re right, Chie. I’m really sorry.” 

“You don’t need to be sorry, Yosuke-kun.” Hearing another familiar voice, he looked up to see Yukiko joining them. “We know you’re dealing with a lot and we can’t exactly solve it but… like Chie said, we’re your friends too. Please, trust us more, and lean on us when you need it. We can’t fix things, but we’re here for you.”

Yosuke swallowed hard and nodded, and Chie reached out hesitantly to pat his arm once, then stepped back. “C’mon. Everybody’s going to meet at Junes, check in. You should come. We need our leader.”

_Leader_. The word still sickened him. _He_ wasn’t the leader, Souji was. But he knew why they called him that, and he knew he couldn’t hold it against them. Sighing, he finished rubbing his neck.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I will, but can we meet on the floodplain, maybe? I wouldn’t mind bringing Nagi out, but there’s no way I can get him into Junes.” He felt a little sheepish over wanting to bring the kitten along, but right now he just… needed the comfort. _Maybe it’s stupid but I don’t really care right now._

“Nagi?” Chie looked confused.

_Oh, right, I haven’t really talked to them since- yeah._ “The kitten. I, uh, want to take him for a walk,” he responded, feeling lame. To her credit, though, neither Chie nor Yukiko seemed fazed.

“Oh! Yeah, sure. I’ll tell everybody else. Meet you there?” 

“Yeah. Meet you there.”

* * *

Yosuke’s feet slowed as he neared the shelter, but the small bundle in his hands (with leash - somehow Nagi didn’t mind wearing one) was kneading and purring as if his life depended on it and that was enough to give the brunette a little bit of courage. Everybody (except Teddie, who had to work) was there already, and when he stepped up they all greeted him with a warmth that made him smile even as it hurt. 

“Hey, guys. Sorry I’ve-”

Those words were all he was able to get out before Rise slid over, latching onto his arm. “Sennnpaaiiiii, we missed you!” She tugged him onto the bench next to her before looping her arm through his; once upon a time, he might have been thrilled by this, but something about it just felt wrong. She should be latching onto _Souji_ , not him. Well, no. She _shouldn’t_ be latching onto Souji, either, but… that was the way it always had been.

Putting aside the feelings of wrongness (and of irritation), he opened his hands to allow Nagi to jump up onto the table, but the kitten - perhaps sensing his discomfort - stayed on his lap, a convincing breadloaf that looked up at him with slitted eyes. Running a grateful hand over Nagi’s fur, feeling the kitten’s body vibrate with the strength of his purrs, Yosuke looked around. 

“Like I said, I’m really sorry. I know I’ve been too caught up in all this, but I didn’t want to drag you all into it. It’s my problem, really, since to you guys Souji’s just a stranger, and-” His throat tried to close up at this, but he resolutely forced himself to keep talking. “It’s a lot to deal with, I know, and we haven’t solved the murders, so I didn’t want to keep distracting everyone.” 

“I’m sure it doesn’t help that we don’t remember Souji, but to you, we’re all supposed to know him, and that rubs salt into the wound.” At the other end of the table, Naoto hit the nail on the head with her usual unerring accuracy, and Yosuke winced. 

“S-sorry, I don’t mean it, I just-”

“Hey, it’s okay, senpai.” Across the table, Kanji spoke up. He’d been leaning forward trying to get a glimpse of the kitten, and as he said this, he looked up. “You don’t gotta explain. But hey. You brought- you brought your kitten along, right? How’s he doing?” 

The change of subject was a deft one even though Yosuke knew that Kanji had asked out of actual interest, and the brunette smiled a little, wrapping his hands around the purring loaf to lift him onto the table. “Yeah. He’s doing fine, seems to enjoy everything. Isn’t that right, Nagi?”

Kanji, of course, became immediately flustered as soon as he saw the kitten, and as he reached out to pet it, Chie leaned across the table. “Nagi, huh? Short for naginata, right? That’s cool! Wha-tchaa!” 

Yosuke had to laugh at her sound effects, and while he was laughing, Naoto shook her head. “Nagi - Izanagi, right?” When Yosuke blinked at her, she laughed. “Remember the lecture we had at Tatsumi Port Island?” 

Before he could respond, Chie pulled a face. “ _Ewww_. Since when were you into history, Yosuke?”

“I’m _not_ ,” he protested. Next to Chie, Yukiko looked around. 

“Izanagi was a god, right? Our personas are gods, too, aren’t they? Well, some of them. Takemikazuchi, Amaterasu, Susano-o. They’re gods, right? Wasn’t Izanagi the original god? Can you imagine somebody having him as a persona?”

Yosuke’s heart sank at this reminder and he looked down, starting to pet Nagi, who had climbed back into his lap. “He was a persona,” the brunette mumbled. When the others paused to look at him, he raised his head, speaking louder. “He was a persona. He was Souji’s persona.”

A quiet hush fell over the table, and everyone looked at each other. At his side, Rise squeezed his arm; in his lap, Nagi just kept purring, kneading against his leg. Finally, Yukiko cleared her throat.

“You know, Yosuke-kun… why don’t you tell us about Souji? Not like… not the case. Just about Souji. What he was like, the things he liked, hobbies he had. Stuff like that, so we can get to know him.”

_What was Souji like?_ A thousand moments swam through Yosuke’s memory and he had to rub his eyes to keep from tearing up. Around him, his friends were quiet; they weren’t pressuring him, but he could tell that they were waiting. And… he owed it to them. 

“I- he was quiet,” he started, his voice breaking on the last syllable. Clearing his throat, he continued. “But he had a weird sense of humour. He- he loved cats. Loved to cook, was _really_ good at it. And he loved Nanako - we all loved Nanako - and she called him Big Bro. Souji… loved to listen to everybody. He helped all of us with our problems. When things got sticky, when we got upset or worried, Souji would be there with just the right words to straighten us out or to inspire us. Sometimes he didn’t even need to say anything - sometimes just seeing his smile was enough.” 

“He sounds like a really nice guy.” Yosuke was so focused on Souji that hearing Yukiko’s voice startled him, and he looked up. “I bet _he_ wouldn’t tease me about my cooking.” He could tell that she was trying to make a joke, and he had to crack a smile.

“Mmm, I’m not so sure about that. He called it Mystery Food X, too, you know. Although, you did try to kill him with your bentos a few times, if I recall. He was definitely a softy.” She made a face at him, and Kanji laughed.

“I dunno. Sounds kinda like a man’s man to me.” When Yosuke raised an eyebrow, Kanji flushed. “Not like you’re not, senpai, but you know what I mean. The kinda guy who don’t let any shit bother him.”

Yosuke knew what he meant. “You mean somebody who doesn’t care if people think he’s girly or not?” The words reminded him of the times he’d teased Kanji, and he couldn’t help feeling a little guilty. “Yeah. That was Souji. He really loved your knitted dolls.”

“They’re _plushes_ , not dolls,” Kanji muttered, looking embarrassed, if pleased.

The brunette laughed a little. “Sorry. Your plushes. You’re right. He didn’t give a damn what anybody thought about what he did, as long as he believed in it himself. I guess that was why he came across as so confident. And when he- when he fought, he was just… so _cool_. You know? He used a katana, and… jeeze, I still remember the day he first summoned Izanagi. It was so _freaking_ cool. Like really, he had this air about him, I don’t think anybody else has ever really carried themselves like that, even though we all have our own personas. And he- he was my partner. My best friend.” 

He choked up again at these last words, looking down; Nagi had stopped kneading and was burying his head in the crook of the brunette’s elbow as he said his last words. Petting the kitten with a hand that _wouldn’t_ stop shaking, Yosuke looked up just in time to see Rise pout.

“Maaaaaaaaan, I’m jealous! I’ve never heard you talk this way about _anybody_ , senpai! Not since Saki-senpai, at least.”

These words hit Yosuke like a ton of bricks, and even as he stared at Rise, dumbfounded, he felt his face heating up. _Saki? I’m talking about Souji like I did Saki? It can’t be. It’s different! Of course it’s just because I cared about them both. That’s all it is!_ As his thoughts became more frantic, a peal of thunder cracked overhead, and everybody jumped.

“Crap!” Chie was already up and away from the table. “Look at that sky! I gotta get home before it rains, I didn’t bring an umbrella.” 

“Same here. Good-bye, everybody! We’ll pick this back up soon!” Yukiko was already climbing to her feet, looking anxious; around them, everybody else scrambled up so as to hurry home before the rain hit. As Yosuke - still feeling shell-shocked - tucked Nagi into his coat, Naoto came over.

“We’re here for you, Yosuke-senpai. I promise we’ll do whatever we can.”

“Thanks.” It was all the brunette could manage, and with his thoughts scattered (and Nagi acting restless, probably frightened by the storm) he rushed away from the shelter, picking up his pace as he headed home until he was actually running. His parents weren’t home, of course, and he took the stairs two-by-two until he was in his room, door shut firmly behind him.

They’d avoided the rain, but Yosuke didn’t even seem aware of this fact as he pressed his back against the door, slowly sinking down into a crouching position in front of it. Nagi jumped out of his hands, and Yosuke barely noticed; he was too focused on the cacophony of thoughts whirling through his mind. 

_Saki? I was talking about Souji as if he’d been Saki? Why would I-_

Saki, the girl he’d been in love with. 

Souji, his best friend, his partner.

Saki, the girl whose disappearance - and murder - had haunted him for months. He still wasn’t over it, but he’d moved on.

Souji, whose disappearance… was haunting him still. 

“ _No_ ,” Yosuke whispered. “ _It’s just because… because I miss him, and- and-_ ” 

The way Yosuke’s heart clenched as he said this told him just how much he was lying to himself, and he dropped his head to his knees, wrapping his arms around them. As he finally sat, landing with a thud, Nagi - who’d been standing next to his feet, watching him anxiously - crawled up into the brunette’s lap. As tears streamed down Yosuke’s face, he lifted his head, reaching down to pick up and cradle Nagi, his cheek against the kitten’s fur. 

“I love him,” he hiccupped, face screwed up as he tried not to sob. “I love him but I was too stupid to see it. Too stubborn. And he’s gone and I don’t know what to do and I just… _Souji_ … where are you? Why did you disappear? Why did _you_ leave me, too?”

As he whispered these words, Nagi squirmed in his hands; Yosuke was afraid for a moment that the _kitten_ was going to run away from him, too, but instead of jumping down Nagi head-butted his chest, hard, burying his face against it as he pawed almost frantically at the brunette’s shirt, claws sheathed. As he mewed, the brunette realised that, short of the ‘prrrp’s he got from time to time, Nagi had never _meowed_ before. It was almost as if he was trying to say something, to comfort Yosuke, and the thought just made him cry harder, cradling the kitten in his arms.

Yosuke’s heart hurt more than it had even when he’d first realised that Souji was missing. “ _Dammit_ , Souji,” he whispered. “There are a thousand reasons that you not being here is wrong, but the biggest one… is because I love you. How do I deal with that? You’re not here, it doesn’t seem like you’ve ever _been_ here… am I ever going to see you again? Am I going to live with this for the rest of my life? I got over Saki, even though it hurt. But now I don’t- I don’t know if I can get over you. Not like this, without being able to _see_ you…”

After what felt like an eternity, Yosuke looked up at the clock to see that it was almost time for Teddie to get home, and the brunette _really_ didn’t want to get caught like this, or have to explain to his little brother what was wrong. Standing shakily - still holding Nagi - he stumbled to the bathroom to wash his face; after taking a couple of minutes to peel himself out of his school uniform and step into his sleep clothes, Yosuke curled up under his covers with Nagi crawling up to his favourite position under the brunette’s chin, purring as loudly as his little body could manage. 

Eventually, Yosuke fell asleep with tears on his pillow and Souji’s name still on his lips.


	5. Chapter 5

He hadn’t remembered setting an alarm, but he must have, because it woke him the next morning at his usual Sunday time, whenever he didn’t have a morning shift. Rubbing his bleary eyes, he stared for a moment at the light blinking on his phone. Knowing that it was more than likely Chie or Rise checking in on him after the day before, he flipped his phone open…

...only to have his heart catch in his throat.

> Sorry for skipping out so early last night, partner, really wasn’t feeling well. 

> Better, now, though. Nanako made me soup, got some sleep.

> Want to hang out?

With trembling hands, Yosuke swiped back to his chat list screen; sure enough, Souji was at the top of his ‘favourites’ column, and none of the messages he ‘remembered’ receiving from the prior week were there. Closing out to the home screen, he saw the date - a week earlier than it had been when he’d gone to sleep.

 _It had all been a dream_. 

He typed out a string of frantic texts to Souji.

> holy shit prtnr u had me worried

> ofc i wanna hang out where when any time is good

> lets meet up in an hour

> ill come 2 ur place

When he dropped his phone, however, the smile that had been stretching his lips from one corner to the other faltered a little as he reached down to the foot of his bed only to realise that… it had _all_ been a dream, because of course it had. There was no litter box, no bed shaped like a frog’s head, no toys… no Nagi.

He wouldn’t have traded the kitten for Souji, but it did make him sad. 

Still _Souji was okay_ , and Yosuke was so excited, so _relieved_ that all he could think about was seeing his partner again, and he rushed around his room room - quietly, so as not to wake Teddie, which was habit by now - and got through his shower in record time. 

Forcing himself to stop and get some coffee and eat some breakfast, he managed to drag things out so that an hour saw him hurrying up the Dojimas’ driveway, hands crammed into his jacket pockets and a weird, fluttery feeling in his stomach. Part of it, he knew, was because until he _saw_ Souji, he was going to worry that it hadn’t all been a dream.

The other part he remembered as soon as the door opened and he saw Souji standing there, silver hair blowing just faintly in the breeze, a gentle smile on his lips. 

_Oh, right. I love him._

Dream or not, he wasn’t stupid enough to try to convince himself that _that_ part wasn’t true. Still, that was something for another day, and when Souji invited him in - to the welcome sound of “Hi, Yosuke-nii!” from the kitchen (oh, how he’d missed Nanako, too!) - Yosuke found himself feeling so happy that he threw an arm around Souji’s shoulders, pulling his friend in perhaps a little more tightly than usual as he said, “Morning, partner!” in a voice that was, perhaps, a little more choked than usual. And then Souji gave him a soft, fond look that made his heart skip, even as the brunette tried to convince himself that it was no fonder than usual, and he was seeing it as such because he’d _missed_ Souji _so much_.

After another cup of coffee with Nanako and Souji, the two slipped outside, bundled against the November chill. Souji suggested they take a walk and Yosuke, not really caring _how_ they spent their day as long as he was able to spend it with Souji, nodded. 

“Sure, partner!” 

As they strolled along the riverbank - the day was overcast, much like the Sunday of Yosuke’s dream, and he was waiting for the rain to start any time - Souji finally stopped as they stood near one of the shelters, looking out over the river. Yosuke stood next to him, not wanting to let him get too far; after a few minutes, Souji turned to look at the brunette with a smile on his lips.

“Everything okay? You’re acting a little anxious. Something happen last night after I left?”

The words _you disappeared_ flashed through Yosuke’s mind, but of course he wasn’t going to say them.

“Oh, heh, sorry. I just had a bad dream last night, and… well, I guess it’s not really gone yet.”

At the word ‘dream’, Souji’s expression flickered for a moment. “A dream, huh? Want to talk about it?” 

Yosuke really _didn’t_ want to talk about it - but at the same time, he did. “I uh, well… it’s stupid, I know, but I dreamed that you disappeared. And I couldn’t find you, and it just… sucked. Sorry, I guess that’s why I’m acting weird today.” 

_Not the only reason, but I’m not going to tell him that!_

“Hey.” Souji frowned a little, turning to face Yosuke. His expression was serious, but caring, and the brunette’s heart flipped again. “You don’t need to apologise. I’d be just as upset if I dreamed you were gone. It must have been awful.” Before Yosuke could respond, Souji shrugged. “I had a weird dream last night, too.”

“Oh?” The brunette raised an eyebrow. He was used to Souji’s weird dreams - like the time he said he’d dreamed he was Chie’s parent. Or when said he’d dreamed he was wearing luchador masks with Teddie. 

But he wasn’t expecting _this_. 

“Yeah. I dreamed that I was a kitten. I just… woke up under uncle’s house, and I couldn’t make heads or tails of what was happening, and of course uncle just shooed me off - you know he’s not big on cats.” Dazedly, Yosuke nodded, and Souji continued. “Nobody else remembered I existed, but then you came along, and took me home.”

 _Is he-_ Yosuke was having trouble wrapping his brain around this, and he put a hand up. “Hold on a second. Are you saying- so you- you dreamed you were a kitten? And I took you home, and took care of you?” When Souji nodded, the brunette gave a disbelieving laugh. “Are you serious? That’s exactly what I dreamed!”

At this, Souji’s eyes widened, as if something was clicking. “Wait, so-” He stopped, looking down, and he paced back and forth for a moment, a familiar gesture that told Yosuke that he was thinking. “What did you name the kitten?” 

By this point, Yosuke was so flabbergasted that he answered on autopilot. “Nagi.” When Souji blinked, eyes wide, the brunette found himself blushing. “Hey, I missed you, okay?”

“No, I understand, it’s just- that’s the same name you gave me in my dream.” 

They both looked overwhelmed at this, and Yosuke shook his head. “This has got to be the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. We shared a _dream_?”

“To be fair, weirder things have happened.” Souji was trying to be his normal, calm self, but it was clear that he was still feeling a bit stunned; next to him, Yosuke shook his head, giving Souji a _look_.

“Okay, let’s be real here. We jump into TVs on a regular basis and I don’t even want to think about some of the shit we’ve faced, but I’m pretty sure that this takes the cake. You’re weird, partner, but this is _super_ weird.”

They both stared at one another for a moment before starting to laugh, and Souji covered his mouth. “Well, if I’m weird, you’re still a bad cat mom. Who gives cats _banana milk_?”

“Hey!” The banter made Yosuke feel less… _lost_ , reinforced the fact that things were back to normal, and he punched his friend’s shoulder, lightly. “Look, it’s still milk, you were just picky. And while we’re on the subject, _you_ chewed on my new shoelaces!” 

“If you weren’t feeding me _banana milk_ , maybe I wouldn’t have had to.”

Both of them burst back into laughter at this; if they were perhaps a little louder than the joke warranted, Yosuke felt that it was probably because they were both so relieved. It felt good.

He was just catching his breath when he saw Souji glance over at him, laughter stilled and a question in his eyes. Before the brunette could ask, however, his partner cleared his throat.

“So… if we had the same dream, uh… does that mean that what you said last night- well, the last night of the dream - is true? That… you love me, and you didn't know how to deal with it, because I wasn't there?”

Yosuke, remembering what he’d said - and that he’d said it _to Souji_ \- turned crimson, and for a moment he thought about denying it. But this - this was his partner, and the sting of losing him was too raw to actually consider lying. Swallowing, he nodded, eyes on the ground. 

“Y-yeah. Yeah, it is. I’d only just realised it myself, when I was with the others.” He paused for a moment, waiting for a response; when none came, he finally looked up to see that Souji was still watching him, an expression in his eyes that the brunette couldn’t quite place. If he’d had to hazard a guess, he would have said that Souji looked _nervous_.

“You know… hearing you say that… it hurt so _badly_ , because I couldn’t answer you. I was stuck in that form, and all I could do was cling to you, do my best to comfort you, because I had no way of going back to myself, and I couldn’t tell you I loved you, too.” 

He finally met Yosuke’s eyes again, and it was clear now that he _was_ embarrassed, very much so, and that he was waiting for a response from the brunette. Feeling his cheeks light up, Yosuke looked down, then back up again. “You- you really feel the same way?” His voice was barely above a whisper, but Souji still heard it; nodding, the silver-haired boy stepped forward, hesitantly. 

“I do. I love you, too, Yosuke.”

With a sob, Yosuke threw his arms around Souji’s shoulders, pulling his partner into a tight hug, unable to form any coherent words. He just held on, and after a moment, Souji wrapped his arms around him, as well, leaning his head against the brunette’s.

“Hey, Yosuke. Thank you for believing in me, even when everything seemed hopeless.” 

The words were quiet, but heartfelt, and they were enough to finally snap Yosuke out of his speechlessness. “That’s what partners do, you know? Besides, I… I _love_ you, and I can’t just forget about you. I never will.” 

Souji’s arms tightened around him, and they stood like that for a few more moments before Yosuke pulled back a little, looking up. Souji was still watching him with the same fond - no, _loving_ \- expression from before, and Yosuke blushed again. To hide his embarrassment, he took a deep breath, slid his hand up to the back of Souji’s neck... 

...and pulled him into a kiss. 

The move surprised Souji, whose eyes widened for a moment, and Yosuke felt a little thrill of pride at being able to finally turn the tables on his partner; it was short-lived, however, as what had started as a fumbling peck started to gain confidence and momentum and threatened to sweep him away. One of Souji’s hands slipped up into Yosuke’s hair; Yosuke was finding it harder and harder to breathe and he _absolutely_ didn’t care. He’d woken that morning thinking that Souji was still missing, and now he was _kissing_ Souji, and he could probably die later that night and be okay with it - although not really, because he’d just gotten Souji back, and there were a _lot_ more things that the two of them needed to do together. In time, of course.

Yosuke wasn’t really sure how long had passed when they finally separated - not that they went far. Souji wrapped his arms back around Yosuke’s waist and pulled him in, and Yosuke found that Souji’s shoulder was a very comfortable place to rest his cheek. They stood like that for a while, until a noise below them caught their attention; it was Mikan, one of the riverbank cats, and she rubbed against Souji’s trousers while yelling loudly to be picked up.

Both boys laughed - laughing together again was so _nice_ \- and this time it was Yosuke who leaned down to do the honour of picking her up; not that Mikan minded, since Souji was also reaching over the brunette’s shoulder to pet her. They stood there, Souji’s arm around Yosuke’s waist, his other hand petting the cat in Yosuke’s arms; after a moment, Souji turned to his partner.

“We should get a cat when we get to university.”

Yosuke chuckled. “Yeah, that would be nice. We could even skip the banana milk, this time.”

They both laughed; Souji leaned in to kiss Yosuke again, and Mikan decided that she was done being ignored and jumped down - but neither of the boys noticed.


End file.
